today, my super power is invisibility!

I tend to think of myself as a fairly observant person. I do understand that depending on the colour of an object & that of your surroundings things may become more/less obvious to the eye.

For example, I work in an office where the predominant colours are shades of grey & scarlet red. I have now come to appreciate the fact that if you are surrounded by the colour red all day, every day, then red objects don't really stand out as much as you expect them to when in a room full of other red surfaces/things...

For years I drove a black car. Cars look cool in black. Black cars come in handy for funeral processions. But the conclusion I came to after 3 years driving my black car was that not many other drivers could see me. ...Not even with the lights on. I would quite often drive around with my side lights on, in all weathers, just to give other folk on the road that extra clue that the moving object I was sitting in, although black, was not invisible!

When I got my new car I made a conscious effort to pick something that would be visible, that would be totally obvious to other road users day or night, in all weathers.

The colour I went for in the end was bright, cheerful, visible: Bright Yellow! It's the colour of the yellow bit in the hazard tape you see on stairs when the nosings have fallen off, on ventilation ducts/concrete beams that you might bang your head on...

However I soon discovered that it appears to have made absolutely no difference! Even though I have been driving around in something bright enough to dazzle you on a dull day for the last 6 years, folk still pull out in front of me as if I'm not even there!

On one occasion a guy actually reversed into my stationary vehicle! But that's what happens when you reverse your car & don't actually look in the direction you're travelling while reversing! Going backwards & looking in front of you were never going to work out well, that's why we have the ability to turn our heads!

You may be tempted to think that my SUPERPOWER only works when I'm in my car, but OH! you would be very, very wrong... my super power can manifest itself any time of the day of night, regardless of what I'm doing, where I might be, & I have absolutely no control over it! That is how it seems anyway...

I can be walking along the pavement or shopping in our local supermarket pushing a trolley load of messages around in front of me... I can only assume that my SUPERPOWER has kicked in & I have momentarily turned invisible... It can be the only explanation surely?!?!

Why else would folk proceed to walk straight into me despite there clearly being enough room for folk to walk past each other without sustaining an injury? They do say sorry once they have walked into me... I can only assume that at this point my SUPERPOWER has failed & they can see me again... It can't be that they were assuming I would move out of their way & pin myself up against the building we're passing just so they don't have to show some courtesy & move the f**k over!!!

After this pattern of behaviour emerged (I am referring to other peoples behaviour & not mine of course) I just stopped moving for folk... My new philosophy for life, whether driving, walking along the road, or negotiating my way through the hoardes of day trippers at my local supermarket, is this:

If you won't move over I will not move, I will on occasion even stop & stand still so you will have to walk around me.

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to make a point... It doesn't usually seem to work... Just because you are walking with a group & I am on my own does not give you the imagined pedestrian right of way over me that you surely believe you have!

(Please note that this is usually a pedestrian rule but can definately be effectively adapted for driving! ...you just need to hold your nerve. If you do try this approach I will not take responsibility for any damage incurred. You have your own brain, again I'm making assumptions here, so use it!!!!)